May 3, 2004
|Neville feels insecure about his weight, but Harry proves to him that he is very attractive.|
| "Don't let me disturb you backbiting fat people. I'm sure you're having lots of fun!"
Harry and Ron turned around. Perplexed, they watched Neville storm through the dorm to his bed and climb onto it. The curtain rings rattled against each other woodenly as he yanked the scarlet cloth closed. The bed gave a few creaks when Neville moved around, but then it became quiet.
Harry and Ron looked at each other. What the hell was wrong with Neville?
Ron blinked a few times and eventually nodded towards the bed Neville had disappeared onto. He lifted his eyebrows. Harry nodded. He went over to Neville to carefully open the curtains. Usually they would have respected the other's privacy, but Neville's behaviour was extremely weird. He never shouted.
Inside the curtains, the light was dim, the sun that shone into the tower room gave the enclosed space a red tinge. Neville lay on his side, his back to Harry. He didn't turn around when Harry sat down on the edge of the bed.
Harry was unsure if Neville would get even more angry if he touched him, so he kept his fingers to himself and only asked: "Hey, Neville. What did we do?" His voice was tinged with worry.
The only answer he got was a slight tensing of Nevill'e shoulders. Harry really didn't know what had Neville in such a snit. Usually, he was very easy-going, and it took a lot to get him angry enough to shout.
He eventually dared to put his hand on Neville's back and slowly started to rub it, but Neville tensed even more and twisted away, almost throwing himself off the other side of the bed. Harry let his hand fall away, and a troubled feeling started to spread from his stomach. Neville still didn't look at Harry or even acknowledge him in any other way.
"Just tell me what we did that's so bad."
Neville shook his head. Harry sighed. He didn't understand what Neville had been shouting about. He and Ron had been talking about Dudley, okay being nasty about Dudley more likely, but why was Neville so angry about that? He had never even met Dudley. Not that Harry thought he would have liked him if he had.
"Neville, please. What did I do?"
He was just about to touch Neville again, when Neville suddenly turned around, making Harry snatch his hand back. The bed creaked with the powerful movement, and Neville only started to speak when the room was quiet again. Harry couldn't even hear Ron anymore. He had probably left the two of them to their argument.
"You made fun of being fat."
Harry still didn't understand what the problem was. "We made fun of my cousin, so what?" He knew there had to be a reason for Neville's mysterious behaviour somewhere.
"You made fun of somebody who is like me," said Neville plaintively.
Harry was amazed for a second. Neville thought he was fat? Then he gave him a hug, but Neville pushed him away. Harry could feel his chest tighten in hurt at this strange behaviour and tried to explain.
"You aren't like him, Neville. You could never be like him." And he wasn't just talking about his weight either. "I mean, even apart from the fact that I could never imagine you beating up somebody for fun..." He chanced a look at his boyfriend. "You have never seen him. He isn't just a bit chubby like you." Who snorted. "He is absolutely huge. Hell, an Orca would be jealous of all that fat he is carrying around. It would feel like it was swimming through the Mediterranean rather than the Atlantic Ocean."
Harry could see an impossibly small smile playing around Neville's lips and started to feel better. "You do know that I like every ounce of you, don't you?"
Harry thought Neville looked like he wanted to just sling his arms around him. But his heart sank again when Neville's jaw tightened, and he stubbornly shook his head. His voice was strong when he spoke. "That doesn't matter. I just... I don't know if this was such a good idea." He paused. "I know we said that we could make it work, but we are so obviously different..." He hung his head.
"But why?" Harry just couldn't understand Neville's reasoning. He had thought they had been happy so far. "Only because I said something about my fa-" Neville's head snapped up and he quickly corrected himself. "...my cousin?"
For a moment, Neville didn't seem to know what to say, then he squared his shoulders. "I just don't think it is going to work when you obviously don't like overweight people. I don't know why you started something with me in the first place." His voice got quieter the more he said, but he still managed to utter everything without stumbling.
Harry couldn't understand what had suddenly brought this on. He was getting desperate to make Neville understand that he was important to him. "I know why we started in the first place." He faltered for a second, but then continued with a firm voice. "We started because we were both attracted to each other. And we were already good friends, so we thought we could make it work even if other people would disapprove. You know that you mean a lot to me, Neville." He fell silent and frowned. It had always been hard for him to give voice to his emotions.. This was the closest he had ever come to declaring his feelings for Neville.
Now he was worrying that it was perhaps Neville who didn't feel the same. Had his feelings for Harry changed and had he just waited until he had a somewhat credible reason to break up with Harry?
Again, Neville looked undecided for a second, then he shook his head again. He bit his lip but still didn't take his words back.
"No, Neville. Please, don't." Harry didn't care how he sounded. His stomach felt like somebody had hit him full on. They had only been together for a few months and Harry didn't even want to remember the time before: the awkward silences, the insecurity he had been feeling when he understood his new feelings towards his friend - his male friend -, the fear of rejection, the worry about the press finding out.
Harry crawled further onto the bed, his hand stretched out, intent on making Neville understand how much this relationship meant to him, but Neville turned back around again. "Please go, Harry. We'll just have to see what's going to happen."
After those words, Harry had left the room as quickly as his feet had been able to carry him. He had only snatched his Nimbus 2001 and left for the Quidditch field.
Since he had been reinstated as a Quidditch team member in sixth year, he had never used his Firebolt again. His fear that it would break in a crash was too great. As the last thing he had from Sirius he hadn't wanted to risk it and had instead bought a Nimbus 2001 that still worked perfectly well.
Most of his friends had thought he had totally gone round the bend - even Ron. None of them could understand - or had all the facts to understand - why he would prefer a good, but still less advanced Nimbus 2001 over his Firebolt.
Neville had been there when Sirius had died. He was one of the few who understood without words that the material value of the Firebolt or even the chance at the Quidditch Cup were unimportant in the face of the possibility to lose this present.
As soon as he reached the field, he mounted his broom and took off. The feeling of the air streaming past him and the weightlessness of being in the air with only a broom as support never failed to make him feel better. Flying at break-neck speed gave him the possibility to pour out all the frustration and sadness he felt. He still didn't understand what had really happened between him and Neville. He had thought everything had been perfectly okay.
Apparently, it hadn't. It had never really occurred to him that Neville could be considered fat. Sure, he had seen that he was a bit on the chubby side, but that just belonged to Neville, like Trevor the toad and his enthusiasm for Herbology. He hadn't known that Neville was feeling bad about his appearance. It was true what he had said before. He loved every ounce of Neville.
Now his relationship stood on the line just because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and be a bit more sensitive. He pushed his broom to fly even faster, pouring out his anger at himself. He couldn't understand how he could have been so stupid.
He knew that Neville was sometimes very insecure about himself and his abilities, but he had believed that their relationship had helped him to become more confident.
He slowed down a bit and now only flew lazy circles around the field. He would have to find a way to show Neville that he found him attractive. Perhaps then Neville would give him another chance.
While he thought about different possibilities - flowers, poetry, chocolate - and quickly discarded them again, he gradually slowed down, until he came to a total stop at the goal posts at the far end of the field. He slapped the end of his broomstick.
That was the perfect idea. He only needed to make a few preparations.
Harry had secured the dormitory for Neville and himself for that evening. The other guys had already known about their relationship and only grinned when he had asked them. Usually, Harry would have felt embarrassed, knowing what they thought, but that night it didn't matter. Every one of them had asked for that same favour before, and it was a common courtesy to stay out once in a while.
He had only told Neville at dinner that he would like to talk to him tonight. Then he had disappeared quickly, before Neville could ask any questions, and had started to prepare everything.
He wasn't exactly sure if he had gone a bit over the top, but in the end he had reminded himself that the worst thing that could happen was that Neville walked right out again. Which he fervently wished would not happen.
He had just lit the last candle when the door opened. Neville appeared in the frame and the stopped dead in his tracks when he took in the room.
Again, Harry wondered if he had overdone it. The whole room was illuminated with small floating candles. They led from the door to Neville's bed, which they surrounded. The bed was invitingly turned up. Next to the bed stood a picnic basket with a scarf draped over it. Harry stood next to the bed, wand still in hand. He looked at Neville hopefully, who hesitantly entered the room and moved towards his bed.
Harry gave a small smile. He sat down on the bed and patted the space next to him. "Neville, I wanted to apologise for this morning. I didn't realise that it would hurt you so much. I just... I never thought of you as fat... I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say." He helplessly shrugged his shoulders and looked at Neville.
Neville gave a sigh and leaned his head onto his hands. "Harry, it's not that I don't like you anymore. But I heard pretty clearly this morning what you thought about overweight people. Why should I think that you think any differently about me? How should I know that you find me... desirable?"
"Because you are not fat. I already told you, I lo... like every ounce of you." He took a deep breath. "And my cousin's weight isn't the reason why I don't like him. He is a bullying little git who hides behind his mother's apron. He is pathetic."
"So am I."
"No, you're not!" Harry looked at his boyfriend imploringly. "Listen to me, Neville. You are one of the most wonderful people I have ever met, and don't think for one second that I could like you any less for something as stupid as your weight." He slowly lifted a hand and caressed Neville's cheek. "And I want to show you that I don't find you unattractive at all."
"You don't have to show me!" He snatched his head away from Harry's hand. "You already made that perfectly clear this morning. You find overweight people disgusting!" He stood up and started pacing around the room agitatedly. "I should have seen it from the beginning. How could I have been so stupid?" He slapped his forehead. "As if Harry Potter would really be interested in me! Ha!" He came to a stop in front of Harry and almost shouted at him. "You know what? I'm sick of it. I didn't ask to be the clumsy, little fool I am, and I'm not going to stand for it any longer. I have let people walk over me all my life, but I'm finished with that!"
Harry just stared at Neville. He had never seen him like this. He was breathing heavily from his tirade, his cheeks were flushed from his anger. He had his hand on his hips, which made him suddenly seem much more imposing than he usually was.
Harry swallowed. He liked that side of Neville. Furthermore, that side turned him on. He could already feel the blood starting to pound in his ears. He tried to calm himself, but it wasn't any use. Now, more than ever, did he find Neville attractive. There was only one way to show him.
He started to unbutton his robes. He knew that he was flushing, but he was determined to show Neville what just his presence was doing to him. He defiantly looked into the surprised eyes in front of him, daring Neville to start ranting again. He didn't. Neville only stared at Harry, taking in the chest which was slowly (being) revealed to him. Then his eyes dropped together with Harry's hand to his fly. Nervously, Harry worked the button open and the zipper down.
They had seen each other in the showers naked of course, but this was totally different. They had never actually gone very far. A lot of snogging, a bit of careful groping and a mutual orgasm here and there. Now Harry was taking the next step.
He lifted his bum off the mattress and jerked his trousers and pants down in one tug. Both of them were breathing hard now, and Harry only hoped that this was going to work.
He indicated his dick standing at half-mast without even being touched. "See this, Neville?" Inwardly, he almost died from embarrassment under Neville's intense stare. "You already know that I like you, and that I don't think you are pathetic at all, right?" Neville gave a reluctant nod, his eyes still fixed on Harry's groin. "This also proves that I find you attractive, right?" He tried to give his voice all the confidence he could find, which was pretty difficult considering he was sitting totally naked in front of his fully dressed boyfriend.
Neville opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Harry watched fascinated when Neville licked his lips, eyes glued to the tip of Neville's pink tongue. He could feel himself blushing even more when his dick reacted to the sight before him.
He could see Neville swallow deeply, then he cleared his throat. "I... ah... I suppose... I... it does." Harry nodded once and tried to look absolutely at ease. He knew he wasn't succeeding but it was nice to pretend.
"Come here." He stood up and stepped out of his trousers and pants. "I want to show you how attractive you really are." He hugged Neville. And was overjoyed when Neville hugged him back. He sighed. That was one thing he so loved about being with Neville; whenever he was in his arms he felt secure. They enveloped him like a solid blanket which radiated warmth.
He turned his face upwards, his lips searching for Neville's and finally finding them. He always marvelled at how soft they were. His tongue insistently pushed against them, and he gave a satisfied moan when Neville opened his mouth for him.
Standing naked against the clothed body in front of him was a totally new experience and one he was enjoying very much. However, he thought he might enjoy it even more if Neville was unclothed as well.
So it wasn't a surprise when his fingers found their way from around Neville's waist to the top buttons of his robe. He started to undo them but stopped when Neville tensed in his arms. He looked up at Neville's face, a questioning expression on his face.
"I... I..." Harry finally thought he understood what the problem was. He kissed Neville once more.
"You trust me, right?" Neville nodded. "Good." He turned Neville around and prodded him towards the bed. "Then just lie back and enjoy, okay? I promise you won't regret it."
Somewhat hesitantly, Neville lay back on his bed. He kept his face turned towards Harry, watching what he was doing.
Harry in turn bent down to take the scarf off the basket and pulled out a blindfold. He held it towards Neville. "You don't have to use it if you don't want to, but I thought it might be a nice addition." He felt a bit dizzy with excitement and nervousness, and he was glad that his embarrassment had died down. Now he only was looking forward to this new experience.
Neville took the fold from Harry. With slightly shaking hands, he fastened it around his head and over his eyes. Harry took a deep breath. He had roughly planned what he wanted to do and knew what he wanted to achieve, but now that he was here, he was getting nervous about exactly what he was about to do. Not to mention that him already being naked hadn't been part of the plan.
He didn't have a lot of experience, the only guide he had was what he liked when he was playing with himself. He just hoped that Neville liked those things as well.
Neville had lain back on the bed, but Harry could still see a bit of tension in his shoulders. So he started by trying to relax his boyfriend. He sat down at the foot of the bed, one leg curled under him, trying to ignore his own arousal. He started by untying Neville's shoes, gently took them off and conitnued with the socks. Neville's toes curled when the cooler air from the room hit them and Harry moved his hands over his feet to warm them.
He took Neville's right foot into his hands and started by massaging the sole of it with his thumbs. Neville jerked his foot up an gave a quite giggle, a sound Harry had never heard from him. Teasingly, he moved his fingers once more along the underside of the foot and was rewarded with a hitched breath. Then he concentrated on his aim: please Neville so much that he would melt into a little puddle of goo and then show him that Harry enjoyed it just as much.
He let his fingers wander over the bones he could faintly see under Neville's pale skin. He had never thought to look at anybody's feet, but now that he did, he could detect the differences. His own feet were somewhat too big for him, and you could clearly see every bone and even some of the tendons. He found them incredibly ugly. Like his body had somehow forgotten to feed them as well as the rest.
Neville's feet, however, looked adorable to him. They didn't have a lot of hard edges or bumps, and the lines only flowed from one into the next. He lightly caressed the little tufts of hair on the toes and continued to get Neville to relax.
When he heard a contented sigh from the head of the bed, he carefully laid the right foot down and took the left into his hands to repeat the process. He looked up at Neville and could see that he was already much calmer. He lay there with a content expression on his face, twitching a little bit from time to time when Harry hit a particularly sensitive spot.
The sight gave Harry the courage to further his explorations. His fingers slowly wandered over the top of Neville's foot, further up his leg until he could feel the fine, almost invisible hairs on Neville's leg. He softly grazed the skin under his fingers and smiled when Neville broke out into goose bumps.
He concentrated on the feeling of Neville under his hands. He closed his eyes, and now he also noticed how quiet it was in the room. The only sounds were their somewhat laboured breaths and the creaking of some of the old wood around them. The skin under his fingers slowly started to heat up with his movements, and he imagined he could almost feel the blood flowing faster through the veins.
He opened his eyes again. The sight of Neville in front of him, wrapped in the light from the candles, totally relaxed, made his stomach give a small happy lurch. He lifted the foot in his hands and pressed a small kiss to Neville's ankle. Then he opened his mouth slightly and touched the tip of his tongue to the skin.
After another few more moments of exploration and a few breathy moans from Neville, he put the foot down and moved to the head of the bed. He leaned over to kiss Neville, careful to let his breath ghost over Neville's face before he actually touched his lips to those below him.
He never could get over the fact how soft Neville's lips were. He smiled slightly when Neville opened his mouth and coaxed Harry's tongue into his mouth. He gave a happy groan in response which resounded throughout the almost empty room.
He moved his tongue against Neville's and at the same time, moved to kneel on the bed. His hands started to get busy on Neville's shirt, opening button after button until he finally had Neville's chest and stomach uncovered.
He didn't quite know where to start but eventually decided that Neville's throat looked especially inviting. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss there and then trailed his tongue down to Neville's collarbone. Again, he enjoyed the feeling and sight of the almost bumpless skin. He suckled lightly, giving his hands time to explore Neville's torso further. He could see how all the tension which had crept back into Neville's posture when he had opened the shirt, bled out of him again and decided that the next step was in order.
With a little wet sound, he suddenly pulled his mouth away and bent down to the basket. In his enthusiasm, he had almost forgotten about the treats he had brought. First he extracted a little bowl of chocolate sauce, one of his and Neville's favourites.
He looked at the bowl in his hand and then at Neville who was squirming under the gaze he could feel but not see. Mentally sticking his tongue out at his nervousness, he straddled Neville's hips.
At the sudden weight, Neville squeaked and thrust his hips up. Harry almost came right then and there. The hard-on he could feel behind his balls pressed against a nicely sensitive spot and made him see little stars. Below him, Neville had started to breathe faster and Harry was really starting to enjoy this experience.
It got even better when Neville touched him as well. He started by tentatively putting his hands on Harry's thighs, slowly moving them up and up and up, until Harry began to squirm as he had reached the crease between thigh and hip. He explored Harry's skin there first with one then two fingers and Harry couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through him.
The bowl in his hand sloped dangerously to the side, but he didn't notice. That was until Neville gave another squeak because a blob of cold sauce had landed on Neville's stomach. "What are you doing?"
Harry couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Hmm, of course I could just tell you." He licked some of the chocolate off Neville. "Or I could make you wait and show you." With this, he leaned up and thrust his tongue into Neville's mouth, sharing the sweet treat with him.
Neville moaned in the back of his throat and let his hands roam more of the flesh he could reach. It was Harry's turn to moan when Neville slid his hands over his arse cheeks, slightly dipping a few fingers into the crease and even grazing the little pucker he found there. At the movement Harry's hips shot forward into Neville's and he lost his balance, landing on Neville.
The feeling of skin on skin was incredible and the only thing he wanted to do was intensify it. So, instead of continuing with his staged seduction, he simply wiggled his way down Neville's body and opened his trousers.
At the loss of body heat, Neville tried to reach for Harry, but his hands only found strands of hair, to which he clung tightly.
Harry was in seventh heaven. He would never have thought that all this would work out so well. Now, he was about to finally get Neville naked, and he couldn't wait for it. Again, he pushed trousers and pants down as one and removed both of them from Neville's legs. Then he sat back and admired his lover.
He couldn't understand how Neville could think he wasn't handsome. Sure, some people might think that the roundness of Neville wasn't erotic, but he didn't think so at all. He quickly reached up to remove Neville's blindfold, but then sat back down on his knees and continued to watch him.
At first Neville seemed a bit disoriented, but then he caught sight of Harry near his feet and smiled at him. Harry had never seen anything more beautiful. The light from the candles shone in Neville's eyes, and his stomach lifted in quick movements with each indrawn breath. He stretched his hands towards Harry, and Harry quickly took them and returned to his previous seat.
Only this time it felt even better. They both moaned when their skin came into contact and Harry was so happy he could have exploded. Instead he decided to channel that happiness into action.
Neville's hands were on his arms, so he started by exploring Neville's chest with his lips and tongue. The lightly pebbled nipples hardened against his tongue and he couldn't resist softly scratching them with his teeth, to which Neville gave a happy sigh.
He moved further down and planted big wet kisses along Neville's rounded belly. He looked up through his lashes and saw that Neville had his eyes tightly closed, a smile playing across his face. Harry traced his tongue back up again, only to move it to the right when he found the transition from Neville's belly to his pecs and moved along the slight valley.
Again, he fetched something from the depth of the picnic basket and came up with a small bowl of cherries. He shuddered when the movement caused his dick to be pressed into the body beneath him. With a small smile, he ran a cherry through the chocolate sauce and offered it to Neville. Who took it by slinging his tongue around the top and pulling. He chewed with a faraway look in his eyes and seemed almost startled when Harry leaned over him and covered his mouth to taste the fruit as well.
For a few moments, they pushed the stone from one mouth to another, until Harry drew away again and spit it into the bowl. He took another cherry, and they repeated the whole action, both of them starting to move their hips against each other as well, enjoying the friction.
With another small peck to Neville's lips, Harry moved downward again. He enjoyed pleasuring Neville and was quite happy to get back to the task at hand. He continued his treck down Neville's belly, blew a light puff of air onto the skin surrounding the dick before him.
He turned his head to the side, almost laying it down on Neville's hip, and looked at his first dick up close. It was bigger now than he would have thought, and he was getting a tense feeling in his stomach. This was supposed to fit? He would worry about that later, first he had to tease Neville a bit more. He grinned.
Harry started by carefully blowing a bit of air right at the head of Neville's dick and was amazed when it twitched into his direction. He couldn't resist. The head pointing into his face was too delicious to pass up on. He started by licking the head and was very satisfied when Neville groaned his approval. Neville's hands had wandered from his arms to his head and the slight tugging at Harry's hair only heightened his awareness.
The taste wasn't bad, similar to his own sperm, and he enjoyed the feeling of a dick on his mouth more and more. He wiggled his tongue against the small slit and almost smiled when Neville thrust his hips once again. He heard an exasperated groan from above and finally started to work in earnest.
He couldn't take in the dick whole, but compensated for it by using his hand on the lower half. He suckled lightly and then started to bob his head up and down. The back of his hand moved against Neville's balls when he began a rotating motion, and he could feel them drawing up into Neville's body.
His own arousal had almost faded into the background while he was pleasuring his boyfriend, but now it came back into his awareness. He suddenly lifted his mouth from Neville's erection, causing Neville to pump his hips into the air looking for contact, but not finding any.
Harry sat back on his feet and waited until Neville opened his eyes and glared at him. He gave his boyfriend a happy smile. "Believe me now?"
Neville looked at him as if he was barmy, but he didn't care. Apart from the fact that this was all very enjoyable and everything, he had decided to do this today, because he had wanted to show Neville how sexy he was. Now was probably the best time for that. He grinned.
Neville groaned and let his head fall back onto the pillow. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Yes, yes, I do believe you. Now can you please get back to do doing that?" He looked up again.
Harry, happy with the answer, slid all the way up again and smiled. "No, I don't think I will." He gave Neville a kiss. "But maybe we can continue with something else." With that he grabbed both their dicks into his left hand and started to move.
Neville closed his eyes again and Harry leaned down to kiss more of that incredible mouth. His tongue was insistent against Neville's, and both of them were so tightly wound that it took only seconds until they came.
When they came down from their high, Harry let go of Neville's mouth and smiled into the brown eyes below him. "I'm glad I managed to convince you."
Harry had curled up next to Neville. He lazily drew little figures on Neville's damp chest and listened to his quiet snoring. He was happy. And he knew, he just felt, that it was the same for Neville.
He wasn't good with words, had never been. Being kept from talking to people his age during half his life was perhaps responsible for that. Or perhaps he was just shy. He didn't know. However, he knew that the best way he could show his feelings was through actions. That was what he always did; he acted.
Tomorrow he would show Neville what he felt for him. He was going to show him by finally admitting to being in a relationship with him. There wouldn't be any more girls hitting on him and whom he had to lie to about not wanting to date at the moment. No more stupid insinuations from their house mates about a secret girlfriend he had hidden somewhere.
It would probably just be hell to go through. A big press coverage about the Boy Who Lived being gay. Threats towards Neville. However, Neville had already received these just for being his friend. He had told Harry over and over again - as had his other friends - that Harry's friendship was well worth this and Harry could quickly forget about distancing himself from them.
Now he was going to - not repay, since that implied that he'd only do it because he felt he owed it to Neville - perhaps give back was a better word. He was only going to do what Neville had already done to him: Show him that he valued him and that there was no reason on earth why anybody would be ashamed of being with him.
|Did you enjoy the story? Was there anything you think I could do better? Please, let me know!